Tour Day Nineteen: Back to School Kids

Today felt like the last day of summer.  It was a lot colder than it should be for early September.  I spent most of the day in a hooded sweatshirt, and most of my time in the club where I kept myself busy until the start of the show.  It's funny how in Austin less than two weeks ago, I almost couldn't breathe from the heat and here I am today shivering from the cold.

I used to think of tour as a vacation.  It was my way to get away from it all for a short period of time, kinda put my life on pause for bit and just go.  I would always come back though, I never wanted to but I always did.  Same shit job, same fucked relationships, same as it was before I left.

Now it's more of a blessing.  I like my life back home, and I am really excited to get up everyday and live.  Where it used to be a chore and constant uphill battle it now feels easier.  I'm lucky, not everybody gets a second chance, and not everybody who does makes the best of it.

No matter how happy I am at home, I still get the itch.  I thought this was going to be the first year since I was 21 that I wasn't going to go on tour.  It really bummed me out, but by around February I had made my peace with it.  That's what led me to go to Las Vegas for my 29th birthday, which was for the first time and an actual vacation.

It's in my blood I guess.  I know I could live in New Jersey for my entire life, but I can't help but want to go other places, see things, have a drink in every state.  It makes you appreciate home more.  This trip has done nothing but add to my growing appreciation for my home, and my friends, and my family.  Hell I am even happy to go back to my job for once.  I fucking love my job.  This is the first time I will ever come back from a tour and not feel as hopeless as I did when I left.

There really is a first time for everything.